5 Kindles to Make America Sane Again

Is it just me, or is the United State all weirder and more intense than usual? With violent protests and rambling, belligerent press conferences, it may be time to dial back the rhetoric and find ways to be civil with and understanding of each other. Kindle features more than a few ebooks that can help. The books range from how to facilitate conflict resolution among groups to ways to build our own character.

The books listed below are just a few of that group. However, they are books that have received high ratings and are written by people with impeccable credentials.

Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution

If you are a fan of The 33 Strategies of War and The 49 Laws of Power, you might be surprised that the packaging genius behind these beautifully designed — but, let’s face it, not exclusively focused on making the world a more peaceful place — had collaborated with a conflict management expert to produce a classic on conflict resolution.

Dana Caspersen, a conflict management specialist, includes examples and exercises to teach the 17 principles in the book. I won’t get into the 17 principles because that’s a good reason to buy the book, but it includes steps like “don’t hear attack,” “test your assumptions,” and “develop curiosity.”

According to CP Journal, a military training organization, “In a world where people of different cultures, outlooks, and intentions interact more frequently, there is less room for error, and if simply changing our natural reactions to discord and steering, instead of escalating, a conversation can prevent a conflict from becoming a conflagration, Caspersen’s book is an investment worth making.”

 

The Road to Character

I thought the Social Animal by New York Times columnist David Brooks was a great book. Then, I read his latest, The Road to Character. It’s even better. And it’s relevant to our current national conversation, or the lack thereof.

Current conflicts seem to point to an increasing culture of conformity and even a culture of non-conformity conformity. It seems like Americans don’t just want the independence to think their own thoughts and live their own lives, but to require others to think like them and act like them. The live-and-let-live ideals is gone. I believe that The Road to Character suggests a solution.

Brooks says that today’s society has lost contact with the humbling, often painful, development of character. Instead of seeking the world to change to match their whims, people of character are determined to change themselves to serve the world better in whatever role they choose.

The author reveals the lives of people like Frances Perkins, a labor activist; Dwight Eisenhower, political and military leader; Dorothy Day, a Catholic convert and humanitarian, Philip Randolph and Bayard Rustin, civil rights workers, among others, to find keys to character.

The book has over 1,400 reviews with an average of 4.3 out of 5 stars.

One reviewer writes: “Life changing! One of the best books I have ever read. The stories about people interviewed for this book were deeply moving. Life gets complicated, and this book helped me get through a very difficult time. One of the people in this book handled loss in a way that I found touching. I used it and it helped me when nothing else I tried worked. Thank you, David Brooks, for writing this book. I understand why Coach Pete Carroll thinks so highly of this book.”

 

Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution

Zen is sometimes portrayed as a religion for absurdists where you contemplate a hand clapping and showing people your original face. Those surreal riddles are usually called koans. Of course, there is a lot of talk about throwing people in dog poop if they answer their koan incorrectly. And there’s no such thing as an correct answer to a koan. So, it doesn’t sound like the perfect philosophy for conflict resolution.

But, Diana Hamilton, meditator and author, says that the heart of Zen, especially its openness and wisdom can help you realize that conflict resolution starts with you. It’s an inside job. Hamilton instructs readers on how to create a mirror-like attention to better respond to challenging situations, or, better yet, to not respond.

She also offers three personal conflict styles and helps you pick what your conflict style is.

The book aims to help resolve conflict in any situation — family, occupational, and other interpersonal situations.

About 75 percent of this book’s reviews are five-star, including this one:

“Ms Hamilton takes personal stories, life stories, and walks you through how to live a comfortable life with less conflict with yourself as well with others. She builds on a base that facing conflict is good, not to be avoided or covered up. How to be a stronger person, or happier with yourself, then move onto avoiding or resolving conflict with others by teaching principles that are basic.Ms Hamilton teaches how to listen, give and receive feedback, and to be thinking “inclusive” of all humans.

“Personally the first 30 pages were a challenge for me. I thought another book with a great title but the same information as others before it. But I was rewarded for sticking with it and enjoyed the book and gained knowledge on how to see that there are others perspectives to take into account, when you think you are the one who is right and the other person is wrong.

I have chapter 17 marked to look back at it often. It is titled The Shadow In Conflict. It touched me deeply in understanding how I look at another person critically and shows how to overcome that critical view.

“200 pages that are easy to read and I am sure you will be better after you have finished the book and the chapter reviews. Go buy this book.”

The Kindle is now at $12.99.

 

The Three Poisons: A Buddhist Guide to Resolving Conflict

Let’s keep the Buddhist thing going here. It is a religion — or belief system — that tackles conflict without a lot of smiting and smoting.

Ross McClauran Madden takes a Buddhist angle and specifically a Buddhist psychological angle to resolving conflict. The key to resolving conflict is to understand what the Buddhists consider the three poisons — anger, greed, and delusion.

Madden is a mediator with more than 50 cases under his belt. He also co-leads the Mediators Beyond Borders Nepal Team, which has worked with the Nepal Supreme COurt. He wrote the guide to use Buddhist principles to help people resolve conflicts. In many cases, outer conflicts — or conflicts between people — are not the issue. The inner conflicts (caused by the three poisons) turn into outer conflicts. Madden says we can subdue conflicts by turning anger, greed, and delusion into loving-kindness, compassion, and tranquility.

 

The Kindle costs about $4.99.

 

The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

“A book that could change the face of humanity.” — Marion Blumenthal Lazan, holocaust survivor and bestselling author.

It’s hard to argue with this type of endorsement.

The Anatomy of Peace is a Kindle from the Arbinger Institute with a simple premise: people whose hearts are at peace don’t resort to warfare. The book is framed around a story — based on a true account — of an Arab and a Jew who both lost their family members in the Arab-Israeli conflict. The book then shows how these two people got together, worked through their struggles, and helped others.

You may also want to check out Leadership and Self-Deception by the same group.

The Kindle is $9.15.

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